Fish

I am thankful for a fish in a depth of the sea, which traveled all the way to a supermarket around the corner, so that I can eat for dinner and make up for my bad day.

Today was another bad day.  Not because of the meetings all day (even during lunch hour), but because, oh gosh, we are stuck again.  And I feel so down for so many other reasons, too.

So I needed some fish.  (And I am not a cat.  And do cats eat a lot of fish in the States?  Perhaps it's just in Japan.)

I feel down because my vacation is over,

because I wasted the best part of my 30s,

because I can't spend all my time reading the huge piles of books in my room,

and because there is nothing in my life that I am looking forward to right now.

But then, pain and hardships are sometimes good for us. 

Yesterday, I was watching Grey's Anatomy. There was an episode with a little girl who cannot feel any physical pain from a genetic disorder.  She keeps getting badly injured, and she could not even feel her stomach bleeding internally to the extent that she needed immediate surgery.  Someone said in the end, "We feel pain for a reason."

And I am also reading a book called "Giver".   It's supposed to be a Young Adult fiction, but the theme is so profound that I wonder whether a young kid really understands.

I am still in the middle of it, but the book seems to be about experiencing pains and developing wisdom.

So, in addition to the fish in the water (subsequently at the supermarket), I am also thankful for a life  that doesn't go so well, so that I can learn.

Post Script:

I wanted to add that, one of my ex-boyfriends used to smile everytime things wouldn't go well.  When I asked him why, he simply said "well, it's a new challenge."  I really loved that about him.